I'm so sorry. The words "despair" and "prison" are red flags. I don't know your story, but hope you find the strength from YOURSELF to do what is best for you and live your life x I wish you all the best x
Paula
Pams girl
JoinedPosts by Pams girl
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17
Schizophrenia
by thedog1 inthat is what it feels like at the moment.
i am leading a field service group tomorrow morning.
taking the wt study on saturday.
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29
Might I coin a new phrase?...... (A tribute?)
by VampireDCLXV infarkel.
verb: to post a terse, witty, unexpected comment on a thread.
frequently a non-sequitir or personal attack.. example: ellie486 farkeled me on my comment about women.... .
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Pams girl
I Farkeled several times today!
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27
One mom, half a dad, and at least three friends lost... But at least 4 lives "saved" from WT mind control... 400 to go
by ILoveTTATT inso... i have just posted a link to freedom of mind and the bite model on fb.... .
i am gonna take a snapshot of the # of friends on fb and the ones i have after i tell people privately that i don't want to be a jw anymore..
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Pams girl
A great story, the story of you. I was only 2 weeks away from baptism, consumed by anxiety and panic, agoraphobic tendencies....and they FORCED me (they did), to attend the assembly in Cardiff, while my mother lay dying in a coma........I turned up an hour late (panic attack in car)....and instead of concern and worry, was met with snake eyes and whispers.....I sat next to my only friend...and she said "You are late!"............
At that moment, something inside me "broke".....and I walked out, and never returned. My mam saved me in a way, even though she passed the next day.
What I am trying to say, despite the palpatations in my chest is.............I thought that was the end for me...mam died, and they all abandonded me (that took less than 24hrs!), and I had never felt more lost or hopeless.......and my anxiety and everything else was so much worse....for months...then I found JWN, and somehow........Jehovah didnt strike me down, and life went on........and I began my recovery. From myself, and from them.
Little steps will get you there. You will look back one day and realise the little things, were, in fact, the BIG things....... I realised that despite my problems, I would rather live life as ME and loose them, and all the cupboard love (a Welsh saying.......they only love you when you conform/behave) than pretend to be someone else, and be a robot. They compounded my illness, and whipped me for it. I am getting there, and in the great scheme of things......live and be happy, it's not a dress rehersal. I wish you all you wish for yourself. x
Paula
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29
Might I coin a new phrase?...... (A tribute?)
by VampireDCLXV infarkel.
verb: to post a terse, witty, unexpected comment on a thread.
frequently a non-sequitir or personal attack.. example: ellie486 farkeled me on my comment about women.... .
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Pams girl
Hi Gladiator, it's been a long time x Hope you and yours are well? x Permission to Farkel you good sir? (I didn't think anyone would remember me, that's a nice thing you said).......makes me feel all warm and snuggly like.....AW SHUT IT and Farkel on......
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17
History of Everything & Stuff by Doug Checketts
by blondie ineve says, "this is .
" so eve eateth of the tree.
so adam eateth of the tree, also.. and he blamed eve for everything.
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Pams girl
Bttt and making no apologies for doing so
The man was a genius
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29
Might I coin a new phrase?...... (A tribute?)
by VampireDCLXV infarkel.
verb: to post a terse, witty, unexpected comment on a thread.
frequently a non-sequitir or personal attack.. example: ellie486 farkeled me on my comment about women.... .
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Pams girl
I Farkel here, I Farkel there.....I will Farkel everywhere!
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54
No Satan
by jgnat inthat was one of the first of the prepackaged beliefs from my church that i let fall.. why?.
because i'd stared evil in the face and lived to tell about it.
i know it's textures, it's dark places, the feel, smell, perversion, degradation, corruption of it.
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Pams girl
The Devil was an angel once....
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34
Overwhelming Fear of Death
by Perversion of a truth indo any of the posters on here deal with this?
i do, and i hate it.
people (mostly my brother) tells me to not fear death and just to enjoy life and so on, but that doesn't seem to help any.
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Pams girl
TTATTelder..........bang on the money.
Dont say "I will" say "I AM"........
Nice one
Paula x
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34
Overwhelming Fear of Death
by Perversion of a truth indo any of the posters on here deal with this?
i do, and i hate it.
people (mostly my brother) tells me to not fear death and just to enjoy life and so on, but that doesn't seem to help any.
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Pams girl
As a person who has struggled with anxiety and panic issues for many years, I can totally relate to your fear of death. However, I found a quote a few years back which really helped me...."Don't be afraid to die, be afraid that you haven't lived...."...it put things into perspective for me. As I approach my mid forties, I find that beginning to "live" has helped me diminish the obsessing train of thought......having time on your hands to dwell on things compound the problem. I hope you feel better soon
Paula
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17
History of Everything & Stuff by Doug Checketts
by blondie ineve says, "this is .
" so eve eateth of the tree.
so adam eateth of the tree, also.. and he blamed eve for everything.
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Pams girl
Bttt